Dating a J-boy....

is no walk in the koen...it's an exciting run!

alot of friends back home have asked me what it's like to be with a japanese guy. Cultural and Language misunderstandings are a very big part of getting with a japanese guy. Don't get me wrong, going into any relationship with a superficial ideal of what it will be like will only lead to crash and burn..and that hurts.

oftentimes I have considered putting an understanding of how japanese women date and mimicking that in order to make dating a japanese guy easier, but that would defeat the purpose. The main question that I always hear my bf say is " is this common?" it is easily assumed that certain details about dating behavior are specfic to non-japanese, such as being aggressive, sending text messages to remind each other that you care for them throughout the day, small gifts at random, these minor behaviors seem foreign to the japanese, because of gender norms and cultural practices that we, meaning non-japanese women MUST understand but not necesssarily enforce upon our japanese interests.

it's all about chemistryyyyyyyyyyyy

Racial and cultural curiousity is also a big part, getting close to a woman or a man from a completely different race and culture is a big step to take for some, so most Japanese men have done their homework before persuing their foreign interests, but this ' research' is often biased and limited to MTV and the 5 oclock news, which is honestly a very disoriented source of information. So as non-japanese we have to remain sensetive and not get offended to the fact that alot of things the japanese think they ' know' about us, we have to prove wrong or right, but it should never be to stressful, they should be open too.

it took me a while to accept the fact that a japanese guy was actually interested in me, it felt good but I did have my doubts. would he understand my japanese? is he just with me because of status? is it because of his appreciation for hip hop? so many questions ran through my head, but my bf...as well as the rest of Japanese guys...are just that...guys!

so remember, it all boils down to dropping your inhibitions, close-minded ideals and fears and just go for it, it all comes down to chemistry...and when there is alot of that..nothing can get in the way...well...accept a language barrior so keep your dictionary on hand.